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About James Tennell
Just Having Joy Together — Because Healing Was Never Meant to Be Walked Alone.
I'm a 65-year-old divorced father of four. I spent most of my life not knowing I was a victim of narcissistic abuse. Now I spend every day helping others find their way out.
James Tennell
JHJTCOACH — Just Having Joy Together
Faith-Based Life Coach · Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
Where It Began
I Grew Up in a House Where Love Came With Conditions.
I was raised by a narcissistic mother. My father, my three brothers, and I all lived under the weight of her control — the constant criticism, the emotional manipulation, the way she made me feel like I was never quite enough, no matter how hard I tried. As the oldest son, I was made the scapegoat in the dynamc and I bore the brunt of her abusive treatment. While growign up, to me my brothers received what seemed to be, normal treatment from a seeminly loving and supportive mother.
None of us had the words for what was happening. We didn't know there was a name for it. I just knew that home felt like walking on eggshells for me, and that love in our family always seemed, for me, to come with invisible strings attached.
I carried those patterns into adulthood without realizing it. Into my relationships. Into my marriage. Into the way I parented my own four children. The wounds of narcissistic abuse don't stay in childhood — they follow you.
The Journey
Decades of Not Knowing — Then Everything Changed.
Childhood
Growing Up Under Control
Raised in a home shaped by a narcissistic mother, I learned early that my worth was conditional. I became a people-pleaser, a fixer, someone who absorbed others' emotions and called it love. I didn't know any different.
Adulthood
Repeating the Patterns
I married, had four children, and built a life — but the same painful dynamics kept resurfacing. Relationships that started with promise slowly became exhausting. I blamed myself. I worked harder. I tried to be better. Nothing seemed to change.
The Breaking Point
When the Marriage Ended
Divorced at 35, I was forced to stop and look honestly at my life. For the first time, I wasn't running from the pain — I was sitting with it. That stillness is where the real work slowly began through the years to come. But it didn't happen overnight. It took another 25+ years of mistakes and broken relationships, my father passing some years after a massive stroke, and still I fought to find answers — struggling in and out of relationships while raising my children, searching for something I couldn't yet name.
The Discovery
Finally Finding the Words
After all those years of searching, I finally thought I had found the perfect person for me — and becoming engaged is where I met my last narcissist. That relationship brought me to my place of awakening. A therapist introduced me to the concept of narcissistic abuse. I remember the moment it clicked — the relief, the grief, and the anger all at once. I wasn't broken. I wasn't weak. I had been systematically conditioned to believe I was.
Faith & Healing
Anchoring in Something Bigger
My faith became the foundation of my recovery. Not a faith that bypassed the pain, but one that walked through it with me. I found that healing and joy aren't opposites of suffering — they're what's waiting on the other side of it.
Today
Helping Others Find Their Way Out
I became a coach because I know what it feels like to be lost inside someone else's reality. I know the confusion, the shame, and the exhaustion. And I know the way out. That's what I bring to every session.
"You are not broken. You are not alone. You were taught to believe things about yourself that were never true — and it is absolutely possible to unlearn them."
My Approach
What I Bring to Every Session
Lived Experience
I'm not coaching from a textbook. I've lived inside the confusion of narcissistic abuse for six decades. That experience is the foundation of everything I do.
Faith-Rooted
My recovery is grounded in faith — not as a shortcut around pain, but as a source of strength, meaning, and genuine hope that carries you through it.
No Judgment
There is nothing you can tell me that will make me think less of you. I've heard it all — and more importantly, I've felt it all. This is a safe space.
Community
Healing in isolation is hard. I believe in the power of connection — whether that's one-on-one coaching or small group sessions where you realize you're not alone.
A Note to You
If Any of This Sounds Familiar — You're in the Right Place.
Maybe you've spent years feeling like something is wrong with you. Like you're too sensitive, too needy, too much — or not enough. Maybe you've been told that so many times you've started to believe it.
Maybe you've left a toxic relationship but still feel its weight. Or maybe you're still in one and can't quite name what's happening. Maybe you grew up in a home like mine, and you've been carrying those patterns your whole adult life without realizing it.
I want you to know: what happened to you was not your fault. The confusion you feel is a normal response to an abnormal situation. And healing — real, lasting, joyful healing — is possible.
I know because I've lived it. And I'd be honored to walk that road with you.